Mar 14, 20194 min read

Game Review #192: Creepy Road (Nintendo Switch)

Reviewer: Bradford “TheWaffinator87” E.

Developer: Groovy Milk

Publisher: Groovy Milk

Category: Platformer, Arcade, Action

Release Date: 3.1.2019

Price (at time of review): $12.99

Buy Creepy Road from the Nintendo eShop here.

World Gone Crazy

Do you know how depressing it is to be within one mile of dropping off the last load of pickled sardines you have so you can go home to your girl, Angelina, just to have it ruined by some crazy old psycho bear? Well neither did Flint Trucker, until one night it happened to him. Flint is a good guy, your typical and stereotypical truck driver. He has a heart tattoo on his forearm with his sleeves rolled up, the always-there 5 o’clock shadow, blue jeans, and some good old tan Timberlands with a trucker hat. He’s just trying to make ends meet, just like the rest of us. Flint was just minding his own business and driving along, trying to get his deliveries done, when a psycho bear comes out of nowhere, causing him to damn near poo himself and crash his hauler into a billboard!!!

Now, with your truck smashed and inoperable, there’s only one way to reach your Angelina, and that’s with your piece by your side as your venture down this Creepy Road (creepy path) from Groovy Milk.

I can’t tell you how many times I have already restarted this game because I love the opening cinematics so much, and how my ribs hurt from laughter from that intro and the shenanigans in general throughout the game. Everything from the little sayings you have as you get your pickups, which include but are not limited to;

“Oh, my baby”- Shotgun pickups
“Oh yeah”- Cheeseburger pickups (health)—my kid kept reminding me how much he sounds like the Kool-Aid Man while saying this.
“Catch my egg”- Grenades
“Oh S***”- Ray gun that turns everything into, well, S***!

(R/T this review, go follow Creepy Road, JPSWITCHMANIA and myself on Twitter, and comment when done on this review, and maybe I’ll tell you where the S***gun is!)

There are so many more hilarious voices and sayings, but I want you to be able to hear some for yourself without giving them all away (trust me I didn’t even cover half of them). There are some funny enemies you come across, like psycho bears, killer clowns, rabid rabbits, suicidal pandas that literally kill themselves jumping at you, cows with mini-guns as their udders, pigs with slabs of ham as a club/melee weapon, and so many more! And of course, insane BOSS BATTLES!

Hint: wait until he jumps out at you, move to the side, and blast this fool in his Rooty-tutti fruity-booty, and you will be all set. There, that’s your one helpline from me. P.S- I didn’t tell you what boss this was.

Honestly though, let me warn you: I would worry more about what it takes to even get to the boss battles. The road itself is not just full of many, many enemies, but lack of health and only one checkpoint per level for when you die. Trust me, you will die. Do not worry though, because I am sure many of you reading this are way better at gaming than I am, and if I can play it enough to get some killer rankings at the end of each level, I know you can too! I mean, I was playing on EASY, I’ll let you test out hard and let me know how it goes, but as long as I can get grades better than I did in high school, I’ll keep my easy mode!

What In Darnation do I do?

Don’t worry Flint and gang, I got you covered. Well, technically the button layout under the CONTROLS section from the main menu has you covered. I was going to say it saves y’all from some extra jibber jabber from my mouth or thought bubbles, but we all know that’s not true.

Y’all can see from that-there screenshot above me it has a nice little picture of them there buttons and what they do. The button/controller input was very easy, fluent, and spot on, thus making it easier to memorize what button does what, and easily get a hang of the buttons. Like many classic platformers, it keeps true to the basic options of what you have for controls, and how many buttons you will use to execute those controls.

How do I look?

Let’s talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly (not me!); but honestly, there won’t be any bad or ugly though (spoiler alert) because this game is absolutely perfect for what I feel like Groovy Milk was trying to accomplish. All the levels and the characters are amazingly well-drawn for this fun and addicting 2-D side scroller. The game overall has a nice and bright layout, making it very eye-pleasing. There are 11 levels in total, with a hidden side level—so, kind of like 12 levels—all hand-drawn and having their own theme/background music. If you play enough and pay attention to the sounds, you can easily memorize what enemy should be coming your way, because they all have their own distinct sound, which is key for becoming better at the game.

Where oh where did my little Angie go?

What was really enjoyable—aside from everything else that I have mentioned—was the originality of the story. How many times can you say you played a game about being an 18-wheeler driver who was forced off the road by a psycho bear that escaped a circus, that was poisoned by a fog machine by an evil koala bear named Lucky, and now you must fight your way through endless and chaotic waves of bad guys to get to your sweet, sweet Angie. I also really enjoyed the fact that there really isn’t much blood, if any, which allowed me to share this hilarious story arc and funny cartoonish drawn out bad guy and boss battles with my kid.

Do you have what it takes to make your way through hordes of infected farmers, farm animals, circus clowns, and circus animals to rescue your sweet Angelina?